I had seen him earlier that morning. Really early that morning. My mom had called be around 9 p.m. on Thursday night and said that they didn't think he would last much longer, so I made the trip down to Fond du Lac to "say goodbye."
I barely recognized the almost skeletal version of my grandpa lying in the bed when I walked in. It's sad to say, but he looked more like an Egyptian mummy than my grandpa. He had lost around 60 pounds and was all but unconscious, mouth agape and gasping for air every few minutes.
I sat there with my grandma, mom, Uncle Bob and Aunt Linda for a while. Then, they went home, but I stayed for a little bit longer. I didn't have all that much to say to him, but I thanked him for always being so supportive of me, and loving me, and so on. I held his hand and every time I tried to pull away, he would squeeze it a little bit. It's one of those things where you really don't know if it's like babies do -- where they involuntarily grasp your fingers -- or if he was actually able to hear me at all, but when I told him about my favorite memory of him, I swear he squeezed my hand harder than at any other time. While it may have just been a coincidence, it makes me feel better that he may have actually been able to hear me ... so I'm going to say he could.
When I left that night, I told him that I was going home, and that it was OK for him to go home now, too. We just wanted him to finally be comfortable again, and it was his time. Less than 24 hours later, he did "go home." Not being particularly religious, I think he's just gone now, but I can see why people choose to believe in God and heaven -- it feels a whole lot better to think that he's up there hanging out, having a few beers with his brothers and sisters, bowling, etc. But honestly, even if he is "just gone," even that is a blessing -- at least he's not miserable and in pain anymore.
Anyway, I got home around 1 a.m. that morning and started writing his obituary. While the final published version omitted some of these things, this is what I wrote (I did later update the visitation times and my uncle's missing birth date, but it is otherwise unchanged):
Robert (Bob)
Alvin Ollerman, better known as “Ole” to those he bowled with for more than 50
years and worked with for more than 40 years at the Soo Line Railroad, passed
away peacefully yesterday at Harbor Haven Nursing Home in Fond du Lac after a
battle with Alzheimer’s. He was 86.
Bob was
born, raised and made his home in Fond du Lac. The youngest of Robert and
Alvina (Friese) Ollerman’s eight children, he was born on Nov. 28, 1926, and
grew up during the Great Depression, during which he collected dirty rags and
sold them for pennies to help his family get by.
After
graduating from L.P. Goodrich High School in 1943, he started working at the
Soo Line in North Fond du Lac at age 18. He was drafted into the United States Army
shortly thereafter and was en route to Japan for a possible land invasion when
the Japanese surrendered to end World War II. Although Bob ultimately served in
both Japan and the Philippines, he made sure that the Japanese surrender was
the enduring legacy of his service: He spent the rest of his life lightheartedly
telling anyone that would listen — and even those that wouldn’t — that he “won
the war” because the enemy knew he was coming and didn’t dare take him on.
After his tour
of service was complete, Bob returned to the Soo Line and ultimately worked
there for nearly 42 years as a carman helper before retiring in 1986. Despite
repeated attempts by his superiors to move him into a job that paid more and
carried greater responsibility, Bob always turned them down, preferring to keep
his nights free for other pursuits, be it family-related, baseball or bowling.
Additionally, the day shift was a better time to run his innumerable pools,
which he always kept folded up inside his shirt.
Bob married Charlene Wenzler on August 4, 1951, and they welcomed
a daughter, Debra (Martin), on December 27, 1952. They later welcomed a son,
Robert, Jr., on June 25, 1956.
Still, for
all of that, Charlene may have put it best when she simply said, “He lived
bowling.”
Bob began
bowling when he was 17, became an ABC-sanctioned bowler in 1946, and started as
a regular bowler in two leagues beginning in 1947. He ultimately spent 50 years
in the Uecker-Witt Businessman’s League (which started at the Arcade before
moving to Ledgeview Lanes), serving as league secretary for 34 years from 1954
through 1988. He additionally served as President of the Fond du Lac Bowling
Association in 1977, was inducted into the Fond du Lac Men’s Bowling
Association Hall of Fame in 1985, served as president of the Wisconsin State
Bowling Association from 1989-1990, and was inducted into the Wisconsin State
Bowling Association Hall of Fame in 1994.
In the early
days of his retirement, Bob spent countless hours tending to the white fence in
his backyard, golfing, drinking Old Style, teaching his grandchildren to play
cards, and attending any sporting events he could get to. He was a particularly
exuberant and emotional fan, once running onto a baseball diamond and picking
up his 10-year-old grandson after he had recorded the final out of a winning
game.
In his later years, when a balky knee finally stopped him from
bowling and began to limit his mobility, Ollerman kept himself busy with
lunches and dinners with fellow retirees, casino trips, and even a yearly
excursion to the Dubuque dog track. He was a member of the Holy Family Catholic
Community and the Knights of Columbus Council #664.
Bob was preceded in death by his parents, five brothers and their
wives, two sisters and one brother-in-law: Lester (Viola) Ollerman, Irving (Kathryn) Ollerman, Clarence
(Adell) Ollerman, Donald (Rosella) Ollerman, Melvin (Edythe) Ollerman, Leone
Ollerman, and Bernice (Kenneth) Grimmer.
Bob is survived by his wife of 52 years, Charlene; his daughter,
Debra Martin and her husband, Rick, of Fond du Lac; his son, Robert
Ollerman, Jr., and his wife, Linda, of Ripon; his grandchildren, Sara and
Emma Ollerman of Middleton, Kalee Wothe of St. Louis Park, Minn., and Bob Wothe
and his wife, Candeth, of Neenah; and one great-grandchild, Clara Wothe.
He is further survived by a sister-in-law and her husband, Dolores
and John Supple of Oshkosh, a brother-in-law and his wife, Joe and Ann Wenzler
of Mequon, and numerous nieces, nephews and friends.
Visitation will be held at the Zacherl Funeral Home, 875 E.
Division Street in Fond du Lac, this Tuesday, September 24, 2013, from 4:00 PM
to 8:00 PM, with a prayer service at 7:00 PM. Additional visitation will be
held at the funeral home on Wednesday morning from 8:30 AM to 9:30 AM., with a
Mass of Christian Burial to follow at 10:00 AM at St. Mary's Church, Holy
Family Parish, 59 E. Merrill Street in Fond du Lac. Entombment will follow in
the Chapel of The Risen Christ Mausoleum, Calvary Cemetery.
The family extends special thanks to Harbor Haven Nursing Home for
their dedicated care to Bob in his final days. In lieu of flowers, memorials to
St. Mary's Springs Academy Second Century Campaign or Holy Family Catholic
Parish are appreciated.
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